Even though you tell yourself it does not matter if the squirrels ruin the garden, you still get upset when they dig up the potatoes. You rearrange the deer netting hoping they will not climb up to the cucumbers. You place the plastic plant trays to protect the growing squash. You sprinkle cayenne. And coffee grounds. This will work you lie to yourself. Surely, they will bother my neighbors, you think. What do they say about magical thinking?
At summer camp, there was a song with the lyrics about chickens and tomatoes. And rabbits and carrots. You don’t remember anything about squirrels and vegetables. But there should be something. Even a brief mention that squirrels love to dig up, leave half eaten tomatoes, unripe squash. Taunting the gardener. In a moment of desperation, you bring your tomato plants to your neighbor to foster. She has a supposed squirrel proof enclosure to raise the plants. Seriously, just buy tomatoes at the market next year. Your blood pressure and your neighbor will thank you.